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When will it get better?

Updated: Nov 16, 2022

I started building a community the day I found out I was going to lose my right eye. I went straight to social media and typed in “people with one eye,” “prosthetic eye” and “eye removal surgeries,” something I never thought I would be searching for myself.


Hundreds of videos on TikTok came up. I saw small children learning to put their own prosthetic eyes in.


I saw a video that Jarrett Stod posted showing multiple young adults taking their own prosthetic eyes out. The song playing with the video was “It’s Tricky” by Run-D.M.C. I watched that video probably 20 times in a row and I learned so much from that single video.


The process of removing a prosthetic eye was something I had never seen on the internet let alone in real life. Before this, I had no idea what a prosthetic eye looked like.


Honestly, I assumed when an eye was removed you had a giant hole in that space and a round glass eye to pop in there. Maybe this is how they used to do it at one point, or It might be some people’s experience or more than likely I have made that all up in my head.


For days I kept searching for more and more videos, stalking these strangers’ Instagram accounts hoping to learn more.


I wanted to know how they lost their eye. I wanted to know when, why, and who these people were. I felt some level of comfort from this. Not feeling as alone - and as vain as this sounds - I thought to myself, these people are all still really attractive and living normal lives.


It was a very confusing time in my life because I thought I would look less and be less. Seeing these other individuals existing with one eye slowly started to change my mindset.

I had my eye removed on April 29, 2021. A few weeks before surgery, I posted on Instagram feelings about what I was experiencing at that moment, which weren’t all positive.


I ended the caption with “what now?” because I really felt so lost at that time. Lost with why this had happened to me, what I was supposed to do with this new me, what career I was supposed to have, what my purpose in life is, you know those big feelings.


Feelings most exaggerated to the max in self-pity, depression, anxiety, and being overwhelmed. I did know if I had these feelings I couldn’t be the only one.


I know I am so fortunate in my situation for the love and support from the people I already had in my life at the time of the accident. These people in my life were at my doorstep with all the essentials.


They drove me everywhere I needed to go and even retaught me how to drive. They helped me with house chores, braided my hair, and put my eye drops in my eye four times a day.


They made sure I wasn’t alone yet still, at times, I felt so alone. I didn’t like the idea of other people going through similar circumstances and being or feeling alone.


So on August 11th, 2021 I created an account on Instagram with the handle of EyeWillBeThere. The thought came to me, probably in the middle of the night.


I wanted to create a community to share other people’s eye stories but at this point, I had absolutely no idea what to expect.


I started by sharing my story first. Around the same time, I found another account that was called @KeepAnEyeOut, he also shared his eye story along with other people’s stories.


His first post on that account was February 28, 2021, which was the day of my accident, I don’t think that's a coincidence.


He’s across the world in another country, but we follow and support each other’s journeys and this is when I realized we have a one-eye community that is active, vibrant, and beautiful. I was going to tap into this community and expand the depths no matter the magnitude of each story.


I wanted to get in touch with the people who have felt alone or who are scared just like I was and bring them into this community. Everyone with any vision impairment story is welcome here.


When I started my “eye” account and started posting my story I surprisingly received messages from other people rather quickly. People who had stories and were willing to share their stories with us. It has continued like that with more and more people reaching out to share.


Sometimes if I come across a profile and I will reach out to ask if they feel comfortable sharing their story. Most of the time they are willing but sometimes they are not ready or not in the right place to share.


We all have our own journey and even if someone isn’t able to share their story I still hope they find comfort and connection with the other stories that are being shared here.


My heart melts every time I receive a heartfelt message or someone expressing their desire to share their story especially if they have never had the opportunity to do so in a community space like this before.


I get messages that this account has helped people not feel as alone, to get the answers they are looking for, and to connect with other people.


Sometimes I get messages from caregivers or individuals with lots of questions about the process of losing an eye, vision impairment, and the prosthetic eye process.


I give them my personal experience or direct them to someone in the community who is going through something similar if it is not something I personally have experienced.


My goal is to deepen the resource we have and to be able to get answers from ocularists and eye surgeons to share with this community by answering their direct questions.


I have learned that no two stories are the same, no two experiences, or recoveries. Whether it be eye trauma, diseases, or genetic dispositions there seem to be a lot of different situations.


I have shared 33 stories thus far and not a single one is eye-denticle :) I am in shock and touched at the same time by every story I receive. The strength of these experiences and their power to move forward with grace and dignity.


I am constantly blown away by the amazing individuals I get to meet over social media. The stories selfishly help me so much too, they give me strength and hope to move forward.


This platform allows me space to be open, and vulnerable, and to be able to both give and receive. I do not feel alone anymore.


If you have an eye story you want to share, connect with us at @eyehesive. I often get messages from people who have recently lost vision in one eye.


They always vary between “when will it get better,” “why can’t I do this” or “this is what I am experiencing”.


From my personal experience, I express to these people It takes time, a lot of time, more time than we want it to take. I know it is frustrating.


However, you have to rest, heal and take that time. Your brain is readjusting to learning how to see out of only one eye now instead of two.


Be patient your brain will relearn, and you’ll be back to “normal” it took me about six months to start feeling okay after my eye injury. I was dizzy for weeks in the beginning, I couldn't drive until about that 6-month mark. I was healing from a lot of trauma in that area.


I just want everyone to give themselves grace, love, and patience. It does take months for that process to completely heal.


I am always available for questions or input. I have learned by watching others and from my own experience, you can still drive, play volleyball, do yoga, go hiking, fishing, ride a bike, anything your heart desires.


Depth perception on an up-close scale can be challenging, not as much as seeing things at a distance. I have just learned to laugh at myself if I miss grab something, or miss a step, and anything that I am slightly off on because of the depth perception.

This isn’t the first time I have had to build a community. On April 28, 2020, I moved to San Deigo to get sober. I was immediately emersed into A.A. since it was during the pandemic everything was on Zoom.


I learned how to connect with people online, via social media, texting, and calling. I slowly began to make new sober female friends one by one. I now have a very large circle of sober friends in San Diego.


We constantly reach out to connect with one another, share funny things, sad things, and hard things, asking for help and support. It doesn’t matter what is going on, we are there for one another.


When the time came and I was having one of my eyes removed I knew I was going to need another form of community since it had worked for me when I got sober.


I am so blessed and grateful to have both of these communities now. Thank you so much for being a part of the EYEHESIVE community. You help me more than you’ll ever know.



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